Monkeys

They say we descended from these animals. I say pshh posh- my great-great-greats x alot were Adam & Eve... but my kids on the other hand....

Household Tip

So if you run out of dishwasher detergent don't use dish hand washing detergent... even if you  think to yourself, "well it will probably just suds a bit extra- pshhh it'll be okay"... don't think that... just saying.

(Umm yeah-so those soaking wet bath towels represent an area that may (or may not) have been covered previously with the same suds seen just a smidge further to the left. Once again... not something to try in YOUR home).

Birthday presents

 "mommy, can we get daddy a submarine for his birthday?"

-Jane, Age 4

Dora

This is Megan and her caterpillar Dora. (Dora the like 3rd, 4th or maybe 5th?). Whenever she finds a caterpillar she picks it up, names it Dora, plays with it, makes it a house, feeds it... and inevitably loses it- at which point she cries. Worms get the same loving treatment. If you are, however, an ant... she  will run and scream, stand paralyzed by fear or simply stomp you dead. Caterpillars good. Ants bad. The end.

"Dora #?" and Megan

Here is evidence of all our "family photos"

OUR "FAMILY PHOTOS"

EXHIBIT A:

So in this shot- we have a few problems- my husband and father of my children is missing from the photo, we all look slightly wrinkled, we're in a museum... oh yeah - and one of my kids is missing her head.

EXHIBIT B:

Now this example here isn't too bad- we're at least all dressed up- and my son wasn't yet born so we can excuse his absence, but really I'm not sure it's frame-ready:

EXHIBIT C:

Oh wait! Darn. There is no Exhibit C. Our computer crashed. Harddrive died. Motherboard fried. When I make $2000 from Adsense I'll be able to get it fixed- cause that's what the guy told me after I spent $50 to get it "repaired"... so yeah only $1999.45 to go and I'll get my picture back!

EXHIBIT D:

Our family together- collectively in swimsuits. Sorry not yet ready to be posted... but hey just picture everyone above - but in beach gear- TAH DAH.

Family Photos

We don't have any family photos. You want to know why? Because we've never gone- that's why. I want a nice picture. My husband wants a nice "outdoors" picture. Three kids later- no family photos... I think we have 2 snapshots that include both of us and all of our children (one was when I was pregnant & the other happened to be today and we were in swimsuits). On with the story...

So I was at Sears one day... and I have notoriously bad luck (which I'm working on turning around)... and lo and behold - I find all of these INCREDIBLE deals- of things I NEED! I'm thrilled... and to top it all off - while we are shopping my girls and I find a little gift bag that tells us we've won a prize and to go to the portrait studio. Well I'm not one to look a gift-horse in the mouth... but I was pretty sure it is just another discount coupon- but did a "what the hay? Let's check it out." Turns out it is a FREE family portrait session- AND we would REALLY get free family portraits. I verified that the manager was not joking - and sure enough she wasn't. I thought to myself- WOW! What gives? This isn't something that happens to me- I'm just SO happy. I ask her what the price would be to get a large portrait done (something not covered by the freebie deal)- we're hurting for pictures and could use some evidence of our family relationship for posterity. She asks what size- I say- "oh I don't know- an 11x14- something like that"... and she- I KID YOU NOT- says, "here" and hands me a gift certificate for a FREE ONE! She tells me to use it before the end of the summer. I'm thrilled! Just thrilled! As a cherry on top- she gives my kids stickers and I march away from that Sears with a little piece of "oooo goody for me!" written all over my face.

The day approaches for our family portrait to be done- something comes up so I reschedule- explaining the reason to the studio clerk. No prob she says. A few days before our new appointment time our littlest trapeze artist does a tumble and scrapes his face up. I call again- ask if they can erase out such things. Nope. Okay let's reschedule. Is it okay? Do you mind? No? Great! Thanks! Third times a charm right? Two days before our big "we're-really-a-family-and-we-have-the-pictures-to-prove-it moment" my 5-year old goes "pee" and comes out without an eyebrow. Yeah-that's right- NO EYEBROW! "What?" you say- and I say "she shaved it off. Yup. Gone" Then I say to her "HEY! What did you do that for? We're suppose to get our family pictures done?" You know what the kid says? She says: "maybe you could just draw it on?"

"Yeah and while I'm at it- maybe I can just draw a family portrait." The end.

Sisters... you can always count on them for a little support