Family Photos

We don't have any family photos. You want to know why? Because we've never gone- that's why. I want a nice picture. My husband wants a nice "outdoors" picture. Three kids later- no family photos... I think we have 2 snapshots that include both of us and all of our children (one was when I was pregnant & the other happened to be today and we were in swimsuits). On with the story...

So I was at Sears one day... and I have notoriously bad luck (which I'm working on turning around)... and lo and behold - I find all of these INCREDIBLE deals- of things I NEED! I'm thrilled... and to top it all off - while we are shopping my girls and I find a little gift bag that tells us we've won a prize and to go to the portrait studio. Well I'm not one to look a gift-horse in the mouth... but I was pretty sure it is just another discount coupon- but did a "what the hay? Let's check it out." Turns out it is a FREE family portrait session- AND we would REALLY get free family portraits. I verified that the manager was not joking - and sure enough she wasn't. I thought to myself- WOW! What gives? This isn't something that happens to me- I'm just SO happy. I ask her what the price would be to get a large portrait done (something not covered by the freebie deal)- we're hurting for pictures and could use some evidence of our family relationship for posterity. She asks what size- I say- "oh I don't know- an 11x14- something like that"... and she- I KID YOU NOT- says, "here" and hands me a gift certificate for a FREE ONE! She tells me to use it before the end of the summer. I'm thrilled! Just thrilled! As a cherry on top- she gives my kids stickers and I march away from that Sears with a little piece of "oooo goody for me!" written all over my face.

The day approaches for our family portrait to be done- something comes up so I reschedule- explaining the reason to the studio clerk. No prob she says. A few days before our new appointment time our littlest trapeze artist does a tumble and scrapes his face up. I call again- ask if they can erase out such things. Nope. Okay let's reschedule. Is it okay? Do you mind? No? Great! Thanks! Third times a charm right? Two days before our big "we're-really-a-family-and-we-have-the-pictures-to-prove-it moment" my 5-year old goes "pee" and comes out without an eyebrow. Yeah-that's right- NO EYEBROW! "What?" you say- and I say "she shaved it off. Yup. Gone" Then I say to her "HEY! What did you do that for? We're suppose to get our family pictures done?" You know what the kid says? She says: "maybe you could just draw it on?"

"Yeah and while I'm at it- maybe I can just draw a family portrait." The end.