Bet You've Never Done This!

I have a two-year old. When she's asked to do something she replies, "sure". When she's picking something out to eat or wear- she stands in front of it and queries, "let me see what I want". If she sees someone would like something of hers she directs them, "you can play with mine if you want".

She is really kinda sweet... kinda...

Yesterday a series of two-year old incidents occurred, but I won't bore you with details of liquid eyeliner being painted on our thermostat or a sink being filled up with cold water and a nude derriere sitting in it- those are simply trifles...

Let's get to the meat of the matter here. Everyone has a potty training story- and if you have enough parents in

a room you can create a well-dotted house map of places/things children have soiled. Knowing this, I still have very little reservation in saying,I think my kid tops the charts of unusual places to pee.

Yesterday I set up a little tent with my daughters potty in it. After much coercion and a few tears, my daughter is convinced it is good to once again plunk her tiny toosh on the hard, cold plastic. She sits in her little tent on and off for 10 minutes- to no avail. No pee-pees, no poopy's. Notta.

Still bare bottomed, she hops off the potty and runs the loop from our kitchen, to dining room, around the corner to the living room, rounding the bend to the hall & landing back in the kitchen where she promptly announces, "I PEED!"

Since she doesn't seem to "get it" I'm not sure if the announcement is one of personal pride or more like a warning.

It has been a quick trip between rooms so I figure there will be a travelling puddle of pee across the floor. My sister-in-law and I scour the floor to see if we can find where the incontinence occurred. I announce (what I believe) to be the discovery and go to get rags. When I return I realize the floor is not wet where I thought it was.

My sister-in-law does an "oh no" and says she thinks she's found it. Affirmative- pee is found...

The night previous my brother-in-law brought over an older 27" TV. It was sitting on the living room floor. Reading the evidence- my daughter sat on the back part (with the ventilation gaps) and PEED on/through the TV!

Yes she sat on the TV and used it as a potty!

Quotes of the Week

I was getting my 5-year old to make her Christmas list yesterday. She struggled to think of anything. Finally after prodding her with toy flyers, online sites, and questions she came up with about a dozen things including stocking stuffers. I explained to her that (although her list was short) she might not get everything on it (she had asked for a trip to Disney). She kind of crinkled her nose and waved her hand around and said, "I know. I know. It's okay. I wouldn't be mad if I got three or four things. I would be happy. Then she paused. Her face lit up and she said,

"I would be so surprised if I got cash or money or something!"

****

Last night my brother was over. I offered him some homemade soup.

He looked at it and said, "no thanks".

About an hour later I guess he decided to sample it and then asked,

"how is it that you can make things that look so disgusting and taste so good?"

Halloween Babies

While talking one day, my sister-in-law told my brother-in-law (her husband) that they would be dressing my 8-month old niece as a chicken for Halloween.

Disgusted by the apparent "sissyness" of a chicken, my brother-in-law said:

"that isn't scarey!"

My sister-in-law reminded him that she didn't necessarily want their daughter to be frightening, to which my brother shared his idea of a great baby costume:

"I thought we could dress her up as a maggot".