Dear OPRAH

Alrighty boys and girls, ladies and tomaties- today I'm going to write Ms. Oprah and see if she will meet with me. Ha ha ha! You never know- my friend told me once that if you "put yourself out there" someone will hear you and things will start happening. It's the "secret".

So I am going to propose an interview with Oprah- but that I get to be the interviewer on behalf of viewers. Now it's your turn- WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?

Share! Share! Share! Vote Melissa to meet Oprah! Letter going in right now!

Celebrity Status

My children all look very much alike as babies: round, chubby faces, huge eyes, little noses, and rosy mouths.

When my oldest daughter was a baby people (friends and strangers alike) frequently remarked about her resemblance to the Gerber baby. I heard the comment so often that I called Gerber to see if they had a baby contest. They informed me that at Gerber they believe ALL babies are beautiful and that they didn't distinguish between any of them. (Obviously ALOT of people thought they had a Gerber Baby and Gerber didn't wish to notify them otherwise).

When my daughter became a toddler the comments were more about the Copperrtone Kid and Cindy-Lou Who, and since her toddler years reference has been made to Tinkerbelle.

All this said, I wasn't particularly surprised when a friend told me that my second daughter resembled someone famous. My girls look very similar so I thought it was one of the above-mentioned "celebs". My friend told me it was not any of them but couldn't quite put his finger on it.

One day while at a church social, my friend was observing my daughter. A lightbulb clicked.

He approached me and with his finger in the air, he said, "I know who [she] looks like now!"

Waiting for a foreseeable response I asked, "who?"

His answer: "An Ewok!"

Tanya the "Vampire"

Since Halloween is fast approaching- I thought this story would be a fun one to share. It happened before I had kids- but all these things bring us experience!

I've known my friend Tanya for along time. Like- I don't know- I'm going to say 12 years- maybe more?- probably more. I don't know. Anyways- we'll just go with twelve... and in all that time not once have I looked at her and thought: "gee you look like a vampire maybe I should slay you." Nope not once.
Until...

One night somewhere just before or after Christmas of 2000, my boyfriend, my friend, and I went to "my house"- (this was the house my friend Kristiane so kindly let me co-habit while she house-sat and took care of a mentally-ill Dalmatian). There were a number of our mutual friends over as we were having some sort of low-energy output, big-calorie consumption shindig.

We go to the door expecting to hear the hustle and bustle of comrades in the full swing of fun, but instead we are greeted by a little note letting us know that Tanya is at emergency and everyone has gone. As you can well imagine we are concerned- I mean if everyone has gone AND the word "emergency" has been used it must be bad.

We step inside for a CSI moment. There on the dining room floor is a wooden chair: one leg broken and the end smeared with blood. No "spatter" or "pooling"... just the tip- gross none the less.

We figure this is serious enough for us to join the party at the hospital. When we arrive, the inner waiting area is packed with our little party of well-wishers- each and all crossing their fingers that Tanya will be "alright".

"What happened?" we ask- and I believe the following account can only be attributed to a vampire- slaying ghost from the netherworld.
Tiny-Tanya had sat upon a usually sturdy wooden chair when it suddenly collapsed from under her- the back leg breaking into dagger-like form and then somehow? (who knows how? I'm not sure a physics-major would know how?) forcefully lodged itself in her upper leg just below her butt- sending her and all her friends to the emergency room to see if she might need stitches.

She has steely eyes, and she's pretty fair complected; she does have dark hair... but her teeth are pretty normal, and she seems to go to bed at a reasonable hour so I don't know why anyone would associate her with the count... but I'm pretty sure a ghost name Buffy is out to get her.

A Sticky End Note

When my oldest daughter was a baby my friend and I took her and my friends son to Toys R' Us. They were both probably about 18 months old or younger- so the trip was definitely more for us and less for them. My little girl started fussing a bit so I grabbed a toy off the shelf for her to look at whilst we strolled on to the next isle. In very few minutes I noticed my daughter full-out chewing on something and feared that she'd chomped off the end of the toy package- that would have been lucky. Instead when I pinched her cheeks...

out popped...

a wad of ABC gum!!! Apparently someone else had use for the toy before we did.

Good Friend, Bad Luck

A few months ago one of my pretty much official best-friend-forever-friends called to tell me a little story. With permission I now re-tell it- oh and I laugh as I do.

My friend and I have a notorious streak of bad-luck. I've come to realize that this "bad luck" might actually be my personal "good fortune" as, when combined with a good sense of humour, provides for A LOT of laughter. For the purposes of this story I will refer to my friend as "Katie"- (not to be confused with any friends I have who may or may not be named Katie).

"Katie" and I have a few things in common (outside of our "luck")- one of the minor majors is stuffing as much activity as we can in the least amount of time possible- including sleep. So one day, like most days, Katie decides to get up for work a little bit later than perhaps she should- and blow dry her hair. Hair finished, but now running late, she rushes out the door to discover it is POURING rain. Only meters to her car- she dashes, (hoodless) and arrives at it's door where she plans to quickly duck inside. In the moments of hand on handle- a nearby car zooms through an even nearer puddle and drenches her. Soaked, and disappointed to have dried her hair on such an occasion, Katie must still keep to schedule. An errand must be run prior to work and time is of the essence. She figures she can blast the heat in her car and dry out reasonably well on her lengthy commute- thereby negating the need to change. She makes it to her next stop. Opens the door. Her pant led catches on a latch and she falls. Splayed on the ground with one leg still hooked to the car a car zooms by, through a puddle, and finishes the job!